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Watch An Engineers Guide To Cats


On the first day of Creation God created the Cat.

On the second day, God created man to serve the Cat.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the Salmon) to serve as potential food for the Cat (and the Cat said, it was GOOD).

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the Cat.

On the fifth day, God created catnip so the Cat could do something else while his human was busy laboring. And he also created malt, to help with fur balls.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the man from making too many human mistakes in caring for the Cat.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to clean out the sandbox.

And on the eighth day, God created the dog, to give the Cat something to tease on the other seven days.

Thanks to Misty Cat and her human Davyd. Email Mys T through her human.


When the early American settlers established themselves on the eastern seaboard they were given supplies of food and animal skins by the Native Americans. The Natives also supplied the settlers with the skins of female cougars. One day a settler asked one of the Natives why they only brought "female" Cougar skins. The leader of the Native expedition being a humorous fellow replied "The male Cougars live up in the Mountains, and are far too vicious to capture." Thus the name "Mountain Lion" was born.

The cougar is the second largest wildcat. It can leap over 40 feet at a time. Although the Cougar is fast it tires quickly. The Cougar's main prey are Porcupines and Deer. If cougar shows up as your animal guide, it means that it is time for you to assert yourself. This is especially true if you have been experiencing many difficulties in your life. This is a sign that the difficult times are coming to and end, but only if you are assertive as well as agressive in your efforts to seize new opportunities.


My adaptation of Cat Rulz by Amazing Witch.

1) Cats can teleport.
2) Cats know they are Gods.
3) Cats secretly run the planet
4) Cats only want to go where you donít want them to
5) Cats never want love when you want to give it to them
6) Cats ALLOW you to pet them
7) Cats know we are pathetic creatures
8) Cats know they are smarter than humans
9) Cats worship themselves
10) Cats make great paperweights, especially on the new magazine youíre reading
11) Cats are also wonderful bookmarks (see #10)
12) Cats only sleep on the floor where they know people will trip over them
13) Cats enjoy making humans feel guilty
14) Cats howl if you leave them alone in a room
15) Cats know better, they just donít care
16) Cats resent car rides to the vet
17) Cats never forget
18) Cats bide their time
19) Cats always get revenge
20) Cats love unconditionally


"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never
forgotten this." --Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled
through snow." --Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to
you later." --Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good
many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph
Wood Krutch

"People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
--Faith Resnick

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats
is infinitely superior."
--Hippolyte Taine

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and
cats." --Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask
for what you want."
--Joseph Wood Krutch


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